American Painted Lady

only when it's dark enough
you can see the stars

burn

i don’t know how you would handle the thruth

i like you

 

i am forever afraid of revealing

of dealing with

whatever it is that I am feeling

 

it always hurts

but my heart beats where it burns

 

this time it’s you

i want to call you baby but you wouldn’t want me to

 

i’m silent for a reason

i have no words, no thoughts just

everything that i’m feeling

 

it always hurts

but my heart beats where it burns

I choose to love you in silence…
For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance…
For distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.

I’m in love with a girl

I’m in love with a girl
again
Or at least I think

She is on my mind
a lot
I want her as my girl

But the thruth is
I hardly know her
I just see her
way too often

She gives me feelings
I want to kiss her
But I know damn well
She can’t be mine

I’ve been down this road
before
It never ends to well

I fall for the ones 
Unreachable
So self destructive, I know

I know she likes me
but it’s platonic
she just sees me
as a friend

But if I kiss her
Will she answer
Maybe she will but
She’s afraid

and straight

I’m in love with a girl
again
Or at least I think

She is on my mind
a lot
I want her as my girl

Brave

If I pledge to be free
I pledge to be brave

I cannot claim to want the first
and relieve myself of the latter

I have endured too much of my self loathing
To give up now

Fit

Just that the soul has a way of mending and
Bending and
Folding
Around

Not the right places
Nor the right people

Just the ones that
Fit
Best

At any given moment

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn—

With every goodbye, you learn.

– Jorge Luis Borges, You Learn (translated by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

Pieces

For you to see me
I have to want to see myself
But I just want to smash my mirror
Into a million pieces

So all you are left to see
Are these little particles of me